will blog for cake (Home)

oh what an insane ride this is.  right after i started working out, i got a wicked sinus infection and was out of commission for a good two weeks.  i went home early from my husband’s birthday celebration, i sat at home and ate a sandwich on valentine’s day, and for my birthday…i gave away my tickets to FUN. and skipped out on girlfriends that had come from miles away and the fun hotel sleepover they had planned.  it was quite the bummer.  2 rounds of antibiotics, an insane amount of garlic, a billion nasal sprays, and an environmentally crushing amount of puffs plus later…i’m back to normal!  well, normal for me.  which is nauseated at night and having the sinuses of someone with a light cold. but I WILL TAKE IT!  lord.

i’ve been working hard to pay attention to my eating.  i’m not one of those eat whatever because you’re pregnant kind of ladies.  for example?  we were grabbing some to go breakfast at a really fabulous brunch place and they had this cookie…man i wanted that cookie.  but i didn’t get it!  i went home and had an orange.  AND my husband and i went to this place we love for a delayed valentine’s day lunch (someone gave us a giftcard!) and i really wanted the fries with my meal.  but you know what i got?  a salad.  2 points me.  yes, i had dessert but we had planned for it :) i’ve also been craving chocolate lately so i had to find a healthier way of doing that so my current favorite treat is a milkshake made with hemp milk, frozen banana, ice, and a little unsweetened cocoa powder.  depending on my calories and protein needs, sometimes i add a tbsp of almond butter.  it’s pretty fantastic!  and i don’t feel bad about it at all.

i’ve had to really pay attention to try to up my protein.  apparently that’s super important in pregnancy so i’m trying to make sure there is a protein source at every meal/snack.

most days, i have trouble getting enough calories with the kind of food i eat.  you’re supposed to have 300 calories per baby over what a normal amount of food for you is.  so if not dieting, you eat 1800-2000 calories…i’m trying to get around 2500 calories a day.  i’ve been tracking to make sure i’m getting enough and also not getting too much.    my midwife says my weight is great and that i’m doing awesome.  my babies are growing at a healthy rate and everything looks good, so i’m feeling good.  they’re about 13 oz each now.

BABIES:

last week was my kick start to working out.  i’m in that place of “now or never” so i’m on it.  my amazing and generous friend dee is helping me.  last week on tuesday, we went for a 20 minute walk, then did a light trx workout.  wednesday i took my dog for a 20 minute walk.  thursday i repeated the tuesday routine.  my goal is 3x a week right now.  so today dee was feeling under the weather so i didn’t go.  i thought about not working out.  i really did.  i knew if i watched biggest loser, it would motivate me.  so i put it on and did 3 sets of:

lower body:

10-12 squats

10-12 side lunges

10 lunges

upper body (two sets with weight balanced on one side to work core)

10-12 bicep curls with very light weights

10-12 overhead press with very light weights

10-12 tricep presses with very light weights

10-12 tricep kickbacks with light weights

10-12 standing fly

stretching.

that’s it!  nothing crazy but i’m proud of myself for putting in the effort!

today i’ve felt like i can’t eat enough food so i’m making sure i’m eating the right foods to manage.

according to the midwife, at 20 weeks and 1 day, i had gained about 26 lbs.  i’m supposed to gain 1-2 a week from here on out!  if i’m over that, i don’t know what else i can do.  i’m doing all i can to take care of myself.  but i’m not that worried about it because i know i’m doing a good job.  and i’m trying.  and paying attention.

it’s so weird to go from being a weight loss blog to talk about gaining weight but you know…two humans in your stomach will do that to you.

i am 19 weeks pregnant.

my stomach is booming.  my weight is skyrocketing.  in case you haven’t heard…we’re having TWINS!  that’s right, twins.  i am going to be one of those “double stroller” people.  i never in a million years would have dreamed of that.  we’re having two girls.  two.  it’s still sinking in.  i the day i found out, i understood an entire new level of the word overwhelmed.

we’re working on our registries.  i normally wouldn’t put this out there, but if you’re feeling fancy, i’m having twins.  and we’re eyes deep in figuring this out.  we’re registered at target and babies r us.  jared and amber humphries.  lawd.

the babies names are autumn and audrey.

now to be honest, i can’t tell a darn thing from those sonograms.  when she was moving it around, i saw their legs and i saw one of them kick.  but that’s about all i could distinguish.

my mom already took me shopping for some clothing…

as you can tell, i’m not big into froofy girly stuff.  i like bright colors, neons, fun things.  people have asked if we’ll dress them alike and the answer is no.  it’s important to us to try to cultivate a sense of individuality.  i don’t know why i’m telling you all of this.  i guess because i’m having twins and it’s a lot.  so i talk a lot.

the good news is, with it being twins, i’m actually right in my target weight wise.  a little on the high end but i’m in the range!  so that is a relief.  i went from thinking i was doing awful and gaining too much to being like, well, for two, i’m awesome.  haha!

my brain is so overtaken with preparation, i don’t know how much i’ll be blogging but i’ll try to keep all of those hanging in there updated.  

much love!

we’ll chalk yesterday up to a loss. no workout. pizza. cupcakes.

lawd.

worked out today!  i was going to yesterday but ran out of time/energy.  i started the day with an orange and cascadian farms honey nut o’s with almond milk.  i also sipped a short organic coffee in hopes of feeling a little less run down today.  i did the 10 minute standing pilates section, the 10 minute core section, and the 10 minute buns & thighs section.  after i had a whole wheat pita w/ hummus, spinach, tomato, and apple cider vinegar.

i’m pretty proud i worked out but i am not feeling so great today.  and i have to work this evening.  i’m hoping the workout helps with energy and getting me through the day.  i’m going to skip vitamins since they can make my stomach feel worse and i don’t want to rock the boat.

i’m at 171lbs.  which means at (almost) 15 weeks, i’ve gained 9lbs.  i can’t embrace the belly yet.  honestly i just don’t feel like the ratio of baby to stomach fat is enough baby yet.  so i’m still wearing giant flowy shirts.  i’m thinking i’ll be more ok with it once it’s more officially pregnant.

i’m trying to eat better and exercise and i’m hoping my weight gain balances out.

i’ve gotten a couple letters checking in and asking how things were going so i thought it was time for an update.

since i found out i was pregnant, i haven’t felt much like myself.  as i mentioned before, my diet went to hell.  and i was having a rough time mentally.  and on top of that, i got a wicked sinus infection.  so for the last, however many weeks, i’ve been eating badly, taking prescriptions, and lying on the couch watch every single episode of say yes to the dress on netflix.  i have felt like a shadow of myself.  i’ve been fairly absent on social networks because i haven’t felt much like dealing with it.

so here i am.  i’m now 14 weeks.  and today, i feel a little like myself!  which is more fantastic than you could possibly imagine.  i’ve been so overwhelmed and down that i haven’t even been able to THINK about baby stuff.  i didn’t want to look at clothes or fill out my baby book…nada.  but i think i am FINALLY turning a corner.  and hope will do more for you than you can imagine.  i’m down to one zofran, in the evenings.  and the last few days, i’ve been able to reintroduce healthy foods to my diet.  i’ve been able to look at pinterest (i couldn’t before because of food pictures), talk about food, and do a little grocery shopping!  so far today i’ve had a bowl of organic honey nut o’s with almond milk, an orange, a hummus pita with tomato and sprouts, some carrots and hummus, and some hot tea!  am i back?  no.  but i’m not drowning.

current obsessions: oranges, hummus, and cereal.

yesterday, i took my vitamins for the first time since the first few days of knowing i was pregnant.  they didn’t go awesome, but i didn’t get sick.  so i’m counting it as a win.

my digestive system is a nightmare, but i have a little hope as i come off the zofran and introduce healthier foods.

my confidence is…not so great.  i’ve put on almost 8lbs.  i was 162 when i found out and now i’m somewhere between 168-170.  i hate it.  i don’t feel great about anything i put on.  my out of town friends and family ask if i’m showing and i have no idea.  i have no idea what’s baby and what’s the bummer that is my stomach.  if i had a clear pregnancy belly, i don’t think i’d feel as bad.  but i’m in that gross stage of “is she pregnant or fat?”  

how long do i try to mask my stomach?  when is it clearly a preggo belly that i can (try) to embrace?  i’ve spent so long trying to mask my stomach area, i can’t even comprehend “letting it all hang out.”

this a absolutely a journey.  but…

i’m actually getting a little excited.  which is a big turnaround for me.  my baby is the size of a lemon currently.  my husband is SO excited.  he’s so over the moon already.  it’s wonderful. 

so even though things are still hard, it’s taking a turn for the better.

i plan to document here a bit more regularly now that i don’t hate life. :)

thanks for hanging in there.  thanks for supporting me.

well hello there!  i know since my announcement i have been absent.  it’s been absolutely crazy and i just haven’t remotely felt like being on the computer.  or on my phone for that matter.  i haven’t kept up with my social networks.  anyways, i got some super sweet messages asking for an update and i’m feeling stable tonight so i thought i’d drop in.

so far, i’m really not a fan of pregnancy.  it’s been rough.  for so many reasons.  even though we’re happy, i’m actually way more terrified than i thought it’d be.  your body changes a lot and it’s a very quick realization that you aren’t in control of your body anymore.

the first thing to change was my tastes.  i wasn’t super nauseated (yet) but i didn’t want to eat anything i was used to.  i tried my green smoothies and salads and it was just not happening.  it all made me gag.  all i could eat was carbs.  and that was hard to deal with because i felt like i was doing something wrong.

then came the nausea.  bad.  it got to the point that i could barely keep down water and couldn’t sit up straight.  i tried every natural remedy i could.  i was finally so desperate, i got a prescription.  that was really tough for me.  i’ve read the books.  i haven’t taken any medicine in a really long time.  not even over the counter.  but it was getting to the point that i thought it was more dangerous for my health to not have something to break the nausea.

and on top of that, my diet has been CRAZY!  well, crazy for me.  i’ve been eating chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, egg biscuits…all sorts of things that are not a part of my diet.  i felt bad for a while.  like i was already doing a bad job.  but it’s literally the hardest thing i’ve ever done.  and i’m just eating what i can.  i hear that the second trimester usually is better.  that you can eat normally and that the nausea and food aversions usually go away.  so for now, i’m just holding out.  doing the best i can. 

i had such grand ideas of this super natural, organic, pregnancy.  and here i am.  taking nausea medicine and eating eggs.

i’m just on this ride, hanging on for dear life for now.

tried to blog yesterday but it wouldn’t go through for some reason.  i’m doing pretty well dietarily.  still having some issues with sweets.  it was easy in the summer because i could grab banana “ice cream” but now i’m cold and i want warm cookies, and cakes, and all that jazz.  sigh.

speaking of being cold, my diet is consisting of more cooked foods the colder it gets.  i still start every day with a green smoothie.  lunch is where i’ve been eating more cooked food than i normally would.  mostly roasted veggies.  but i still have salad a lot.  had a giant one today.  dinner is quinoa with roasted eggplant, onions, garlic, mushrooms, and broccoli.

and i’m drinking the mess out of some hot tea.  i’m not just “on” the hot tea train…i’m driving it.  or engineering it.  or whatever.

is the cold impacting your choices?

i don’t have coffee much anymore.  for anyone that knows me well, you know how crazy that statement is.  but because i don’t have it often, whenever i do, i feel like i could climb everest.

here’s to a productive day!

my husband got caught up at work and couldn’t cook dinner. my work was crazy busy and I wasn’t starving so I just ate food that was there. a balanced meal of pretzels and a morning glory muffin. :/

moving on…